The Pocket Homu Conspiracy
by Erebus Kioku
Summary: When Madoka leaves her 'Pocket Homu' in Sayaka's care she has no idea what the consequences will be.


Hello again everyone. Here's a new fic which is very different than my previous stories, in that it features Sayaka being abused instead of Homura. I wasn't actually going to post this on here since it requires a little context, but someone asked me to and I didn't have any real reason to say no. A Tumblr friend created a concept called 'Pocket Homu's', small Homura's that are kept in jars and are essentially permanent baby animals that look like various versions of Homura. This is a birthday fic I wrote for that person, based on a comment she made about Sayaka putting a spider in Madoka's Pocket Homu's jar while she was 'looking after her'.

* * *

"And make sure she doesn't get too cold, she's really sensitive to low temperatures okay?" Madoka fretted.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it Madoka. Relax, it's only a few hours. It's not like she'll starve to death even if I forget about her."

"Sayaka!"

"I'm joking, relax. Just go or you'll be late."

"Okay, but take care of her properly! Bye bye cutie pie!" Madoka tapped lightly on the glass of her Moemura Pocket Homu and waved. Said Moemura Pocket Homu responded by blinking owlishly, then twisting her face into an expression of distress as she realised that Madoka was leaving, before collapsing into a heap and wailing hysterically.

"Oh no, don't cry Homura-chan! I'll only be gone for a little while! Behave for Sayaka-chan, okay?"

Homura responded by wailing even louder.

"Noooooo! Maroka! Maroka no!"

"Ah, no, please don't cry…!"

"Right, that's it. You need to go Madoka, you're cutting it close as is. I'll be fine with her, just leave before she gets more upset."

"But…"

At a pointed glare from Sayaka she finally left, giving a worried look back as she did.

As soon as she left, Homura's crying grew even louder, if that were possible. Sayaka gritted her teeth. She hated these stupid overrated toys. Every soft touch like Madoka was walking around treating them like they were miniature babies or pets, but Sayaka was sure that they were just some kind of weird, genetically modified bugs or something equally ridiculous (one alarming theory floating around on 2chan was that they were robotic government spies, Japanese or otherwise, but that seemed a little over the top).

All of them pissed her off, but the constantly crying 'Moemura' type (and what kind of stupid name was that anyway?) was second only to the smug, perpetually smirking Akuma type, which Sayaka wanted to punch whenever she laid her eyes on one. Not to mention the fact that every other person with one had unimaginatively named it 'Homura' (which had ruined the name for her forever). Her patience with them had worn even thinner after Kyosuke had broken up with her last month, as had her patience with everything actually. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to babysit it after all, but Madoka really was stuck for help. Ugh…just her luck.

Still, she'd told Madoka that she'd take care of it, so she would. She walked over to the crying creature on the table and kneeled down to eye level.

"Crying won't make her come back any quicker you know?"

The ugly little thing stopped crying and stared at her through teary eyes…for two seconds, then burst into tears again.

Sayaka sighed and pulled the list that Madoka had left her out of her pocket. Bananas are her favourite but don't give her too much, pureed carrots are good for her and she likes it, pureed cabbage is good for her but she won't eat it unless you coax her, blah blah blah, no loud noises, don't shout at her under any circumstances, blah blah blah…what a pain. Sayaka rolled her eyes. She might as well try feeding the stupid thing, it might make it shut up. She retrieved part of a banana from the kitchen and mashed it up.

"Here, you like this right? Eat some."

Sayaka dropped some banana into the jar. Homura lifted her head up, looked at it… then ignored it and went straight back to crying.

"Oh come on, it's your favourite right? Just…eat some of it. Madoka will be upset if you don't."

The creature seemed to understand that and hiccupped a few times as it attempted to stop crying. After a minute it calmed down enough to eat and started to half-heartedly pick at the puree.

' _Thank god,_ ' Sayaka thought. She quietly walked into the living room, making sure not to make any sudden movements, and carefully shut the door. With any luck it'd fall asleep after it ate and she wouldn't have to deal with it again until Madoka came back.

Unfortunately she only had an hour of peace before the damnable wailing started up again. She gritted her teeth and tried to ignore it, but the high pitched noise grated on her nerves horribly. After ten minutes she was just about to get up and go and try to shut it up, when the crying abruptly stopped.

' _Phew…_ '

That was a relief. She was sure she was starting to get a migraine. She turned her attention back to the TV, but after a few minutes a worrying thought occurred to her. Wasn't it…too quiet? Suspiciously quiet in fact. Suddenly feeling alarmed, she shot out of her seat and walked into the entrance hall. To her horror, the jar was empty and the lid had been lowered down the side of the jar where it was currently leaning. The little bastard had known that she'd investigate any noises she heard and had made sure that its escape was stealthy.

Sayaka felt a surge of paranoia. She'd underestimated their intelligence, clearly. Maybe they really were some kind of foreign spy tech. Why did it escape then? Was it looking for something? What could it want in her house though? Wait…Kyosuke had traveled abroad often in his career. Maybe it was looking for something in relation to that? It's not like any of his stuff was still here, but maybe it didn't know that! It was all starting to make sense now!

' _I have to find it and contain it before it gathers more intel!_ '

The paranoid idiot picked up a newspaper and rolled it up into a makeshift weapon. Where should she look first? It had a head start, but it was so small that it probably couldn't have gotten far…

Creeping forward one careful step at a time, she edged towards the door and tested the handle. It was still locked, so at least it hadn't escaped…although she might have felt better if it had. She checked the windows in the rooms adjacent to the hall just in case, but they were still locked as well.

She resumed her advance down the hallway, keeping an eye on the floor and ceiling at all times. The blue haired girl jumped into the dining room, newspaper at the ready, and took stock of her surroundings. No sign of it in here…

After checking behind the cupboards, underneath the cushions, and everywhere else it might have secreted itself she moved on. Next was the kitchen.

' _I hope it's not strong enough to pick up a knife or something…_ ' she shuddered.

Upon entering the kitchen, her eyes were immediately drawn to the fruit bowl. There next to it was a half-eaten banana! The little bastard, stealing her food!

"Grr…"

Sayaka advanced towards the bowl cautiously and looked for signs of life. Next to the bits of half chewed banana there were yellow tracks heading in the direction of the spare room. She edged towards the door and leaned gingerly around the door-frame. She couldn't see anything…

 _*CRASH*_

"Argh!" Sayaka's heart pounded in her chest and she jerked away from the door. She breathed in deeply several times to try and stop herself from hyperventilating and after a few moments managed to get her breathing under control.

' _What was that? Did it try and push something on top of me!?_ '

Her hands trembled and twitched. This was a more dangerous situation than she'd thought. Still, Japan's national security rested in her hands. If she could just prove that this one was a spy then the government would realise the threat that Pocket Homu's posed and ban them. She'd be a hero!

'Deep breaths Sayaka, deep breaths!' She inhaled deeply, once, twice, feeling the cool air enter her lungs, then slapped each cheek to get herself pumped up.

' _Okay, here I go!_ '

Newspaper in hand, she jumped into the spare room, lunging forward so that she was out of range of any falling objects that may be aimed at her. She spun on the spot, looking all around her, crouching down slightly so that she could pounce forward at her enemy as soon as she saw it. However, there was no sign of it. The only sign that something was untoward was the broken paperweight that Kyoko had given her for Christmas, 75% off tag still attached to the largest piece.

' _At least it didn't break anything valuable._ '

Her eyes scanned the shelves and boxes, focused towards where she thought the paperweight had been, but there was nothing…no, wait! There was something quivering right above the shelf by the door! The ugly food stealing thing was hiding under its own over sized clothes in an attempt at camouflage.

"Hey, you Soviet bastard! I'm onto you! Don't think I'll let you escape with Japan's secrets!"

A tiny voice in the back of her mind wondered what secrets a Soviet spy could find in the spare room of the ex-girlfriend of a violinist, and also raised the possibility that the Soviet Union hadn't existed for 30 years, but she summarily ignored it.

The Pocket Homu shook even more than it already was, then timidly lifted its head out from underneath its clothes. It stared down at Sayaka with teary eyes, lower lip trembling weakly.

"Don't pull the innocent act with me! I know what you are! I know what you're here for! I won't let you escape!"

Homura burst into tears again.

"Ugh…"

Sayaka grabbed a chair and dragged it in front of the shelf, keeping a close eye on the thing the whole time. She climbed up, raised the newspaper into a defensive position and tried to grab it. Unfortunately for her, the Pocket Homu realised what was happening, let out an ungodly shriek and made a break for it, resulting in Sayaka smacking her fingers painfully against the wall. Hissing in pain, she turned in the direction it had fled, however she failed to remember that she was standing on a chair as she did so. Her balance failed and she started to fall. Desperately she flung her arm out to right herself, but the only thing her hands met was the wires of her old set of speakers. Her hand wrapped around the wires as she fell to the floor, dragging said speakers over the edge of the shelf straight onto the back of her head with a dull thud.

"ARGH!"

The now bruised and humiliated girl gritted her teeth and pushed herself up onto her knees, feeling the back of her head tenderly.

' _Argh…is that thing trying to kill me? I-Is it actually…an assassin?_ '

Her mind reeled in horror. It made sense, she had to admit. She didn't think there was much intel in her apartment that the Soviet's would be interested in, so they must be after her! The same tiny voice in the back of her mind wondered why the Soviet's would want to kill her, and also insisted that it was sure that the Soviet Union didn't exist anymore, but she scarcely heard it over her raging headache (and her usual pigheadedness). That settled it, she had to capture it at all costs.

The Pocket Homu was still wailing it's lungs out on a shelf, this time on the far side of the room, opposite the door. If she could sneak up on it while it wasn't looking…

Sayaka stealthily picked up the chair and quietly positioned it underneath the creature, then hopped up, took aim and shot her hand forward, seizing it in an iron fist.

"YES! VICTORY! How'd you like that!?"

"Eeeeaargh! Maroka! Maroka!"

Homura twisted in Sayaka's hand desperately trying to break free, but to no avail. Sayaka jumped down from the chair, hurried back into the hallway and shoved Homura into the jar, slamming the lid on after her.

"Ha…haaa…I got you! See how you like being thrown in prison where you belong…!" she gasped out. This thing had really given her the run around.

She reached for the phone, ready to call the police, but as her hand neared it she jumped in surprise. There was a spider on the wall behind the phone. Sayaka paused and glanced over at the thing that had tried to kill her, a thought forming in her mind.

"Hah, are you listening you Soviet scum? If you're sick of this things normal wailing then I'd like to see the look on your faces when you hear this!"

She reached out and grabbed the spider (she'd never understood why people were so freaked out about them), marveling at how much easier it was to capture than her enemy, and dangled it above the jar.

"Bet you're worried now aren't you!" she crowed.

"WAAAAAAAAH! MAROKA! MAROKAAAAA!"

Sayaka started to unscrew the jar, prompting even louder screaming from Homura, but found it difficult with only one hand.

' _Dammit, just a little more…_ '

"SAYAKA-CHAN!"

Sayaka dropped the spider in surprise, and ended up knocking the jar over as well.

"MAROKAAAA!" Homura shrieked, bolting towards her saviour. Madoka scooped her up and cuddled her to her chest protectively.

"What. Do you think you are doing?" Madoka hissed.

Sayaka gulped in fear. She wasn't sure that she'd ever seen Madoka angry, but if she had then it was nothing compared to the sheer rage emanating from the girl right now. Her glare could melt steel, and Sayaka was forced to avert her gaze lest she became overwhelmed with fear. Her only hope was to convince her friend that the things in her hands was a monster.

"M-Madoka, it's not what it looks like! That thing…it's not what you think it is! It's actually a Soviet assassin! Or maybe a spy…it tried to kill me!"

Strangely, Madoka didn't look mollified. If anything she seemed to grow angrier.

"Sayaka-chan…I've known you for a long time. You've been my best friend for all of these years, so I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, I really do. So tell me: why were you trying to put a spider into my terrified Homura's jar?"

"I'm telling you, that things a foreign plant! I wanted to make it scream so it'd hurt its handlers ears! It tried to kill me!"

Madoka closed her eyes, took a deep breath, them exhaled slowly.

"Sayaka-chan. I have never been more disappointed in anyone than I am with you right now. In fact, I am absolutely ashamed of you. I have no idea why you're saying these ridiculous things, but there's nothing I can think of to say to you right now that I don't think that I'd end up regretting later. So get out, right now."

"What? B-But this is my-"

"Get. Out."

"…"

Sayaka shuffled past Madoka, feeling surprisingly intimidated considering that she was five inches taller than the bonsai esque girl. She couldn't believe that she was being thrown out of her own home…no, this just wasn't right! Not only was this absurd but if Madoka didn't believe her about the Pocket Homu's then she could be in danger herself. Madoka had been Sayaka's best friend since they were both five years old, she couldn't leave her exposed to danger so easily! She took a deep breath and turned back for one more attempt.

"Madoka, that's-"

"GET. OUT."

"…"

Sayaka scurried out of her apartment, cursing Homura the whole while.

* * *

"Here we go Homura-chan, more yummy banana! Ooh, you like that don't you? Yes you do! Yes you do!"

"Maroka~! I love you Maroka! Banana! Hehehe!"

"That's right, banana! Who's a clever girl? You're a clever girl, yes you are!"

Homura nibbled on the banana puree, smiling and giggling as she did. It seemed that her ordeal last week hadn't done any lasting damage at least. Madoka's forehead creased at the memory. To think that Sayaka of all people would treat a vulnerable creature so horribly… and the excuse that she'd come up with was the most ridiculous thing Madoka had ever heard. Soviets indeed. She shook her head. There was no point in keeping on thinking about it she supposed. But still…Sayaka wasn't really that kind of person. Madoka had to wonder whether the poor girl was having some kind of stress induced breakdown. If Sayaka didn't start behaving rationally soon then maybe Madoka should think about holding some sort of intervention to get to the bottom of things.

"Maroka, banana!"

"No Homura-chan, you've already had banana. You can't have any more, or you'll get a tummy ache, won't you? And that'd be terrible! Here, have some carrot."

"Cawwot…"

"That's right, you like carrot. Eat up!"

"Mhmm…banana…"

"Oh no, no more banana. You're starting to get spoiled huh, Homura-chan? Maybe I shouldn't have given you so much banana this week after all…if you don't eat your normal food I won't give you any banana for four whole days, and that's a promise!"

Homura let out a horrified gasp and started on her carrots with great haste.

While she was busy eating, Madoka checked her phone again. To her lack of surprise she had several texts and voice messages, all from Sayaka, all undoubtedly proclaiming the evils of Pocket Homu's. The pink haired girl let out a sigh. Maybe she should ask Mami to have a talk to her. It really did seem like the poor girl had lost it at this point. She was broken out of her thoughts by a pair of tiny arms clinging onto her hand.

"Maroka, I ate it! I wuv you Maroka!"

"Hee, I love you too Homura-chan. You're a good girl," she said, leaning down and giving Homura a small kiss on the head.

Homura giggled happily, then climbed up onto Madoka's hand and clung off of her thumb like a tiny little monkey.

"Play!"

"You want to play? Okay then."

Madoka gently swung her hand back and forth, eliciting excited squeals from her pet.

* * *

Meanwhile, Miki Sayaka sat in her apartment glaring with baggy eyes at the hastily constructed research board which she'd stuck onto the wall. The word 'Soviets' was written in the middle and numerous bits of string, fastened to pins, radiated from said word to various newspaper clippings, photographs, forum posts and profanity riddled rants which she'd written herself around the rest of the board. This was the culmination of her research into the Pocket Homu plot, but no one she'd explained her findings to, outside of certain sections of the internet at least, believed her. Kyoko had laughed at first, then looked creeped out and left, Madoka hadn't even bothered to listen before hanging up the phone and the police at the station had escorted her outside.

She seethed in silent rage. Soon, they'd know. They'd wake up to their precious 'pets' standing over them with a knife, and then they'd know she was right, then they'd be sorry, and then, then they'd come to her begging for her forgiveness and help. And then they'd finally appreciate her, oh yes. She'd just have to make sure she was prepared for that day. Yes, she just had to wait a little longer. Just a little bit longer.


End file.
